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Awesome experience or delusional dream [Aug. 25th, 2009|05:46 am]
[Current Mood |contentaware]

Either way something happened last night that hasnt is a long time. I found a door while meditating. I'm pretty sure by now you know what that means. What you didnt know is that I created a ritual to close my door the second time we seperated. I'm not sure what I hoped to accomplish by it now, but thats neither here nor there. It IS why I've had trouble letting the others thru sometimes and why I can't quite experience magic the same way. I think this changed last night.

I laid down to meditate before i went to sleep. Usually just to quiet my mind so that I can sleep. And something felt... familiar. Powerful. Then I made it to the meditative state, which I had been just short of most of the time recently, And in front of me was a door. There was a stone doorstep and door way. The doorway was carved to look like three roman pillars with ivy growing up them. At the top was a gargoyle. Not menacing though. It gave off the kind of indifference you'd expect from an old dog, too comfortable laying by the fire to bother raising his head when someone walked in. Instead of looking like it was guardng the door, it seemed far more interested in the nothingness far out to the left. The door itself was dark wood and iron bound with a heavy cast-iron ring for a handle. I contemplated the door. It felt familiar, powerful and inviting. It wanted me to open it. I considered that it might be something I dont want. Might be harmful. Then I stepped onto the doorstep and heard the voice. "KNOW YE NOW" "KNOW YE NOW" "KNOW YE NOW". In a chorus of unheard pipes the phrase repeated. Three notes, three times. My hand lifted toward the handle to pull open the door. Suddenly things started trikling back to me. My old meditating. The guide I had found. The cave I would centered myself, my mind in. The field of fog beyond it. My hand now grasped the heavy, warm iron ring. I slowly pulled it open as I continued to glimps things I has 'seen' before. It was like there was nothing beyond the door. Light did not penetraite. Still I stepped, more floated, inside. As I did I saw the gargoyle notice me. When I was fully through the door, his stone hand reached out, grabbing the top of the door and slinging it shut behind me.

Nothing but darkness for a brief eternity. The suddenly and being apeared atfirst of skin, with leathery winds and a face of anger. For the instant that I saw it, I feared I had crossed the wrong door and may never awake. Then, when it saw me, it sofened. The horns on its head became antlers and the wings went from leathery to leafy. The face became not anger, but contemplation. Wisdom. A beard of spanish moss and hair of ivy and grape vines. The skin shifted the solidified and took on the appearence of bark. I thought to myself. "The green man! An Elder!" Then he spoke.
"You are me. You are the masculine side of nature. Natures wrath. Natures power. Natures persistance. Natures prevalance. The necessary hand of destruction." As he spoke The room filled with light from behind him. It was as a deep virgin forest, beauty indescribable for words would be but a pale nod to the truth of it. "Know me. Know ye now. I gift to you." Then, no matter how hard I tried to stay, I began rising back to conciousness.

I laid there for a while, trying to return to meditation, but I couldnt. My heart still raced. It was fantastic!
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Who Wears the Pants in Your Relationship? [Aug. 10th, 2009|10:15 am]
Knew this already ^_^

You Both Wear the Pants in Your Relationship
You and your sweetie seem to have stuck the perfect power balance.
It's not that you don't disagree - it's just that you've learned how to compromise well.

You're both mature enough to know that you can't always get your way...
And usually, you're both adult enough to reach an agreement - even if that sometimes means giving in a little.
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Not a quiz [Jul. 8th, 2009|12:53 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |creativecreative]

No, there is no quiz in this post. I know. Sad.

I've been thinking a lot about the world at large lately. After considering the state everything is in, I think i'd rather not be a part of it. However, I lack the means to create a decent life outside American society at the moment. Therefore, I think that just doing little things will help me tremendously. For one, I am going to watch less tv and play less videogames. I swear it! Instead I'll... I'll... Well I'll think of something else to do. Like tend to my new mint plant and make plans to expand it into a full tea garden little by little.

I've also been thinking a lot about, well, thinking. Spirituality you could say. Magick I might say. Making messes my mom would say. There are just so many things that people do to achieve the same goal. Candles, stones, Runes, herbs, oils and the various and very varied rituals across the globe. There is just so much! How can you chose only one thing? There are so many experiences out there! Walking a different road to the same destination. Even string! Gypsies would sometimes tie certain knots in certain types of string to cause different outcomes. If I'm not mistaken, thats where the term 'tie the knot' started. Not necessarily from the gypsies but from the same bowl of soup.

Well, honey, these are the sorts of things you get when you pick the soul that burns for discovery. <3 I'll apoligise a head of time for planting and replanting random gardens, building random sheds and suck, and for the many objects, trinkets and remains that will artfully adorn our future home.
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(no subject) [Jun. 14th, 2009|10:25 am]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]

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(no subject) [May. 30th, 2009|12:41 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |crazycrazy]

Ok. Now this is just one amazing coinsidence! I'm not sure why its a popstar name. I expected something stupid. But how funny is this?

Your Pop Star Name Is Shadow Jr.

You're Gonna Be a Star!

See?! lol It doesnt mean anything but still I thought it was pretty interesting.
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(no subject) [May. 27th, 2009|12:28 pm]
I forgot how to do a cut. oh well. read maybe?... please?

You Are Blue

You are a philosophical and often inspired person. You are the master of ideas.

You are open to many points of view. You believe that it's important to communicate and not judge.

You have a worldly perspective, and you're always looking to broaden it.

You are a true people person, but you also value your solitude and personal space.

You Are A Spaceship

You're so weird that you're practically out of this world.

You are a total dreamer. You are obsessed with conquering the impossible.

You are wild and adventurous. You love thrills of all sorts.

You are a true sensation seeker. You are always looking for that next high.

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.

You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships.

The purpose of your life: showing love to other people

Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah

Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

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(no subject) [May. 16th, 2009|08:47 am]
Sick kitty is sad :( Hurts to eat, but i'm hungry. Cant stay asleep. Hurts to drink and i'm thirsty. If I could get something to stop my ears from hurting I would be so much happier. I'm probably going to go watch whatever movie i can find and try and sleep some more. I still cant talk, so please txt me. <3
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(no subject) [May. 11th, 2009|03:55 pm]
OMG! #3 is the best thing i've ever heard!
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(no subject) [May. 11th, 2009|09:30 am]

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

6 - the Questioner

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX (aka "The Loyalist").

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family,
friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved
and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

  • Be direct and clear.

  • Listen to me carefully.

  • Don't judge me for my anxiety.

  • Work things through with me.

  • Reassure me that everything is OK between us.

  • Laugh and make jokes with me.

  • Gently push me toward new experiences.

  • Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a SIX

  • being committed and faithful to family and friends

  • being responsible and hardworking

  • being compassionate toward others

  • having intellect and wit

  • being a nonconformist

  • confronting danger bravely

  • being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a SIX

  • the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind

  • procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence
    in myself

  • fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of

  • exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger

  • wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right

  • being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

SIXes as Children Often

  • are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and

  • are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger

  • form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent

  • look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel

  • are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

SIXes as Parents

  • are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty

  • are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence

  • worry more than most that their children will get hurt

  • sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?

so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?

so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...

...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose CY

Would you rather have chosen:

  • AY (EIGHT)
  • BY (FOUR)
  • CX (TWO)
  • CZ (ONE)</div>

    Take The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test
    at HelloQuizzy

  • LinkLeave a comment

    What Type of Art Are You? [Apr. 8th, 2009|12:25 am]
    You Are a Painting
    You are a passionate person. You see the emotional undertones that others miss.
    Compared to other people, you are sentimental. You allow yourself to feel everything.

    Believe that art should capture the beauty and mood of a moment.
    The best art speaks to your heart. It makes you smile, dream, or even cry.
    LinkLeave a comment

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